


Welcome to Earth 1625

by JenJo



Series: 52 Short Stories in 52 Weeks [35]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on a Tumblr Post, Deaf Clint Barton, Gen, Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss, Multiverse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reed does science, Sue the Queen of the Ocean, adventures in the multiverse, and it does not end well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:53:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenJo/pseuds/JenJo
Summary: hawkmemeguy:reed richards is an asshole and a lousy scientiston a completely related note has anyone ever been to earth-16@5 before because thats where me and lucky are right nowps somebody punch reed and then stick him in a closet before he tries to fix this himselffucking waffle





	1. Welcome to earth 1625

**Author's Note:**

> Week 37: A story about a scientific discovery.
> 
> This is based on the recent adventure of hawkmemeguy over on tumblr.  
> I'm just taking the opportunity to also update 52ss52w.

 

At some point in the future, Clint would look back on these events and shake his head at the antics of his past self, and past Clint’s inability to see the signs..   
Unfortunately, he was not future Clint. He was present Clint.

And present Clint was  _ beyond  _ waffled by past Clint.

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

It had all started innocently enough.

Well, ‘ _ innocently’ _ might be the wrong word, considering who was involved.

Reed Richards had invited the Avengers over to the Baxter Building to witness his findings about the multiverse. Apparently Richards had discovered a new one, or something.

Clint, by his own admission, had not been listening. 

The Avengers had all agreed that they should at least  _ look  _ at what Richards was doing, just in case something had to be stopped.

No Avengers  _ wanted  _ to be the ones to go over. So, being the mature, responsible adults that they all were, they put their names onto pieces of paper, and put that paper in a cup.

Clint had glared at Natasha when she had pulled out his name first. It was  _ not  _ random, and no one would convince him otherwise.

Clint and Tony had ended up being the two ‘volunteered’ to go check on Richards. Lucky also joined them. For whatever reason, the dog had not left Clint’s side all morning, and refused to do so.

(Again, hindsight is  _ beautiful _ .)

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Tony! I really think that you’ll like this universe that I have discovered,” Richards had brought Tony over to a monitor, effectively ignoring Clint. Clint did not mind; he and Lucky stood to the side, watching the pair. 

(Richards  _ had  _ given Lucky a look which probably meant something, but had ignored them in favour of talking to Tony).

Tony had merely raised an eyebrow at Richards, looking sceptical. “Why would I like it?”

Richards moved to put an arm around Tony, before remembering who he was, and clasping his hands together in front of him. “It’s a universe where  _ science  _ is treated right.”

“Right…” Tony trailed off, looking over his shoulder at Clint. Clint just shrugged, continuing to pat Lucky.

(Lucky had not stopped giving Richards weird looks. Clint was not troubled by this).

“And one universe over, in Earth 1625, science is-” 

Whatever Richards was about to say was interrupted by a blinding light and ear-splitting screech. Clint closed his eyes, throwing his arms around Lucky and putting himself between Lucky and the light.

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

When Clint opened his eyes again, he was no longer in the Baxter Building.

He was in the middle of the street, and where the Baxter Building  _ was,  _ was now a crater.

Clint turned off his hearing aids, which were buzzing at an  _ annoying  _ frequency.  _ I’ll get Tony to fix them. _

_ Wait. _

Where was Tony?  _ And Richards, I guess. And everyone else in the building. _

Clint let go of Lucky, who began sniffing around.

Clint pulled out his mobile, which by some miracle was still working. No phone signal, but he  _ did  _ have internet.

Not one to question even a little bit of luck, Clint made a tumblr post detailing his situation.

And by ‘detailing’, Clint meant being brief and somewhat vague.

 

hawkmemeguy:   
reed richards is an asshole and a lousy scientist   
on a completely related note has anyone ever been to earth-16@5 before because thats where me and lucky are right now   
ps somebody punch reed and then stick him in a closet before he tries to fix this himself   
fucking waffle

 

“Something’s not right,” Clint muttered as he stood up, putting his phone away and hoping that the post would reach the right people. Clint looked at the debris. The debris was old; no way had the building blown up. There’d be smoke. And fire. And a lot more people. 

Looking around, there was no sign of life anywhere.

“Lucky, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

Of course, as soon as the words left Clint’s mouth, he was surrounded by five people who just…  _ appeared out of thin air.” _

Clint raised his hands in the air, hoping that that was also a sign of surrender on earth 1625.

Lucky sat at his feet, thankfully not causing any trouble.

The people who had appeared might have been saying something, but Clint didn’t have his ears on, nor could he  _ see  _ their mouths. They all raised their hands in unison, and began walking towards Clint.

_ Okay, so this looks bad. _

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Tony stood up slowly, coughing out the smoke that had gotten into his mouth.  _ Stupid Richards and his stupid experiments. _

“Clint!” He yelled, looking around.  _ The explosion probably knocked out his aids.  _ “Lucky!”

No response from either Barton was troubling. A noise to his left made him turn; it was only Richards, returning his body to it’s proper shape.

“What. Happened.”

Richards frowned at Tony, looking around the room. “Nothing is wrong, everything is where it should be.”

Tony let out a strangled laugh, throwing his arms out. “Try again Richards.”

RIchards looked around, and Tony could tell the moment he realised what Tony meant. “Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you have to say?” Tony shook his head, pointing at Richards. “You’ve lost an Avenger Richards. I hope you know where he’s gone.”

The face that Richards made did not fill Tony with any amount of confidence.

 


	2. Mob Science?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So apparently Science is outlawed here?  
> And Scientists are basically mobsters?

Previously on Earth 1625:

 

_ Okay, so this looks bad.  _

_ Turns out that the Avengers were right in wanting to avoid Richards and his latest scientific discovery. _

_ Too bad I was the one who had their name drawn at “random” from the hat. _

_ Now I’m stuck on Earth 1625. Lucky’s with me, but my ears aren’t working, and there’s a bunch of people closing in on me. They don’t look friendly. _

_ Futzin waffles. _

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Clint holding up his hands did nothing to stop the five… Clint was going to refer to them as  _ magicians _ , who were continuing to get ominously closer to him. 

Clint looked down at Lucky, who was staring past the five magicians. He followed Lucky’s eyeline, but was unable to see what Lucky could.

_ He’s focused on something. Wish I knew what. _

Then, there was an explosion where Lucky had been looking. The five magicians all stopped moving towards Clint, disappearing into thin air.

Clint blew out a breath that he hadn’t realised he had been holding, lowering his hands and bending to pet Lucky.

“Looks like we got out of that alright.”

Of course, right when Clint finished that sentence, a new person ran at him, holding a device in their hand.

_ Why do I ever bother opening my mouth? _

If Clint had to describe them in a word, it would be Steampunk Scientist. ( _ Okay, maybe two words. Sue me. _ ) This new person had those classic copper goggles, and a bowler hat. They had a brown leather trench coat, a side satchel, and knee high boots.

_ And it’s probably  _ not  _ the best time to be admiring their outfit. _

The person scanned Clint, before shaking their head, banging the device against their leg, and holding it at Clint again.

“That isn’t possible,” they said, putting the device in their pocket and pushing their goggles up onto their forehead.

Clint recognised them instantly.

“ _ Jane _ ?” Clint asked incredulously.

Jane nodded, stepping closer to Clint. “And you’re meant to be dead.”

Clint frowned. “Dent?”

Jane stepped to the side of Clint, pointing at his ears. Clint took out his aids, and handed them over to Jane. Jane pulled a screwdriver out of her bag, and after a moment handed the aids back to Clint. Clint put them in, and turned them on.

“Thank you,” Clint smiled at her. Jane had turned her attention to Lucky, who was acting like the perfect dog.

“We can’t stay here,” she said to Lucky, who barked in agreement. Jane stood up, putting her goggles back on. “Follow me.”

_ I don’t really have a choice,  _ Clint thought as he followed Jane, Lucky staying at her feet.  _ My dog has chosen to pledge allegiance to this universe’s Jane. It’s probably her cool outfit. _

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Tony, explain to us in five seconds why you called us over here,” Steve said as he and Natasha  entered the room. “And why you couldn’t tell us over the phone.”

“Clint’s in an alternate dimension.”

Silence.

Then two different voices echoing the same word. 

“ _ WHAT?”  _

Tony pointed at Richards, who was attempting to fix the room. “His fault, not mine.”

Richards turned to the Steve and Natasha, holding up his hands. “Hey, I am just as much a victim here.”

“Richards was talking about alternate universes,” Tony explained, glaring at Richards. “Then bam! Explosion. And no more Clint. Or Lucky.”

“Lucky’s gone too?” Steve asked. Tony nodded.

“Yup. Both missing.”

“Where?” Natasha asked, taking a step towards Richards.

Richards  _ was  _ a smart man; he took a step backwards and swallowed before answering. “Earth 1625.”

“Is he in danger?”

Tony snorted, drawing Natasha’s attention. Richards let out a breath, visibly deflating as Natasha’s attention moved to Tony.

Tony just shook his head at Natasha. “Come on; this  _ is  _ Barton we’re talking about. The guy gets into trouble getting out of bed in the morning.”

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Jane brought Clint and Lucky to what Clint could only describe as a science fortress.

It was  _ massive _ ; an underground lair that seemed to span for miles.

The guards had looked at Clint funny, but one wave from Jane and they had had no problems letting him through.

Everyone loved Lucky though.  _ Everyone _ . If Clint was guessing, he’d guess that they had never seen a dog before.

“So, you’re not from around here,” Jane said, sitting at a round table, feet up and leaning back in the chair. Lucky was sitting next to her, happily accepting head scritches.

Clint was sitting across from her, deciding  _ against  _ putting his feet up on the table.  _ No idea what the etiquette is here; would hate to get this far, only to end up in jail. Or whatever jail looks like on earth 1625.  _  “Yeah, I gathered that. Don’t suppose you have any tech that could get me home?”

Jane laughed. 

“Okay, that doesn’t sound like a good laugh.”

“It’s not. Science has been illegal here for five years.”

“Science. Illegal,” Clint frowned, shaking his head. “Doesn’t make sense.”

Jane threw up her free hand. “Well, it’s our earth. I’m guessing you come from an alternate earth where science isn’t illegal.”

“Yeah. There, you’re a scientist. One of the best.”

Jane smiled, nodding. “Good. As I should be. I’m a scientist here as well. Or, I was. Before it was outlawed. Now, I’m  _ the  _ Boss.”

“This setup is very mob-like.”

“Not an inaccurate expression.” Jane pulled out  _ a pocket watch what even is this world?  _ She stood up, walking towards the door. Lucky, the traitor, followed her. “Sorry, I have a prior engagement. Saving you was not on my list of meetings today. Stay here, and don’t cause too much trouble.”

“Aye aye, ma’am,” Clint smiled. Jane nodded, leaving the room, locking the door behind her. 

Clint looked around the room. It was empty, devoid of anything except the round table and chairs.

_ How Arthurian. Stark probably had a hand in this. Speaking of, Jane is the mob boss? Seems more like Stark’s thing. Wonder where he is. _

_ And Bruce. _

_ And all the scientists. _

_ And all the other Avengers. _

Clint pulled out his mobile, which was still somehow alive, and receiving internet. Looking at his notifications, he was concerned that no one had commented on his previous post.

_ Oh well, if I just spam their dash, they  _ might  _ reply. _

 

Hawkmemguy:   
cant find tony or bruce but i did find this universes jane foster   
cons shes a mobster not a scientist   
pros she really likes lucky and i think i can trade petting time for underworld science contacts   
oh yeah did i mention science is illegal here because it is   
fuck everything

 

Clint pocketed his phone, and crossed his arms on the table, resting his head.  _ Might as well get some sleep to pass the time.  _

  
  
  
  



	3. Sue Storm, resistance folk hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gather round, and hear the story of the hero Sue Storm, who gives everyone hope from her underwater science fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again :)
> 
> This is what I imagine The Wasp's outfit to be:  
> http://jenjo93.tumblr.com/post/153075222780/steampunk-wasp-brown-jacket-sleeveless-white

Previously on Earth 1625:

_ Okay, so things are still looking bad. _

_ I got saved from the unfriendly people closing in on me, by a Steampunk Mob Boss version of Jane Foster.  _

_ She’s brought me to this science fortress, where I’ve currently had a nap. _

_ Because she stole Lucky from me. _

_ My dog got stolen by a Steampunk Mob Boss version of Jane Foster. _

_ Oh, and science is illegal here. _

_ What is this place? _

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Who is  _ that _ .”

“No one.”

“Don’t believe you.”

Clint woke up to the voices in the room. He had ended up sleeping with his head resting on his arms on the table. He sat up, blinking awake. 

“Huh?”

Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss had returned, along with another woman. This one was  _ also  _ steam punked, and looked just as good as Jane had.

_ Stop Barton. Stop. _

The woman with Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss ( _ What? I’m not bitter. Really _ ), stepped closer to the table, leaning on it while looking at Clint. He could see her eyes widen behind her goggles.

“Barton’s alive?”

“It’s slightly more complicated than that.” Jane pointed at the woman beside her. “This is one of my trusted lieutenants. Codename: The Wasp.” Jane sat back at her table, The Wasp sitting at her side. Lucky, still the traitor, sat happily at Jane’s feet.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Clint said, smiling at The Wasp before turning to Jane. “So what’s happening?”

“Well, you’re arrival actually allowed me to complete my mission easier, so thanks for that,” The Wasp nodded at Clint, before turning to Jane. “Richards is getting closer, reckons he’ll have it in a week.”

“Damn,” Jane shook her head, taking out a device from her bag.

“Richards? Is he like a double agent here?” Clint asked, regretting it when he received two horrified expressions.

“Double agent?” The Wasp shook her head. “No way. He sold out two months after the uprising.”

“But isn’t science illegal?”

Jane nodded, not looking up from her device. “He made some sort of deal. Traded his knowledge of locating scientists for safety. He’s still alive, and currently working on a way to wipe us out.”

“Where I’m from, he’s just a scientist who transported me here for no reason.”

“At least he’s not trying to kill you,” Jane observed.

“Not actively, at least. What about Sue?”

“Sue?” The Wasp smiled wide, flying up onto the table and leaning towards Clint. “Oh my, that is an  _ amazing  _ story.” The Wasp turned to Jane. “Can I?”

Jane nodded. “It  _ is  _ a good story.”

“Yay!” The Wasp clapped her hands, before focusing back on Clint. “Alright, so this takes place almost five years ago, back after the uprising, and just after Richards sold out…”

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Sue was, at her heart, a scientist. Nothing got in the way; a promising career as a swimmer ended at eighteen, with successive injuries ruling her out of defending her medals from two previous Olympics.

She had always had above average marks in school, so she used her brains to get into college, where she graduated at the age of 23 with a Masters in Advanced Chemistry, and by 24 held her PhD.

It was then when her life truly changed.

She had met Reed RIchards whilst completing her Masters. He had told her about his project, of course: space flight. At the time, Sue had dismissed it as the ramblings of a man who wanted to date her.

At 25, she was in a space ship, alongside Richards, her brother, and a third man, Grimm.

And now she could turn  _ invisible _ .

It had been fun for a while, pretending to be superheroes together. Around the same time, Richards proposed to her.

She said no.

So the Invisible Woman left their little group and ran alone, saving people where she could. Sue Storm did her part as well, contributing to the realms of science wherever she could. 

And then The Uprising happened, and science was outlawed.

To those in the community, it had seemed impossible. How could  _ science  _ be outlawed?

It started small, a few scientists here, a few over there, going on ‘extended vacations’. It was normal, and didn’t raise any alarms.

And then it wasn’t so small.

Murders. No other word for it. Killers not found, scientists returning having been  _ tortured _ . 

No one was safe, and no one knew who to trust anymore.

Sue heard rumours, which turned into evidence, of some kind of resistance. Any time she tried to find them, Sue ran into more authorities. Luckily, she had the power to turn invisible. Not everyone was so lucky.

But Sue couldn’t stay invisible forever. She truly feared for her life. She ran, and ran, and ran. 

Straight into the arms of Reed Richards, apparently. On a street she had never been on before. That should have been her first clue.

He had assured her that his house was safe, and like an idiot, she had believed him.

She lived there for a month, before the evidence started piling up.

If Richards had a safe house, why were they the only ones here?

How could this house  _ be  _ safe?

Why did Richards keep sneaking off at all hours?

Why did he get so many phone calls?

Suspicious, Sue listened in on one of Richards’ phone calls.

_ “Names, Richards. We need names and locations.” _

“Jane Foster is leading the resistance. She’s located at the Observatory.”

_ “Once we have eliminated the Observatory, you will have another month of freedom.” _

Sue had stormed into the room, furious. “You  _ sold out _ ?”

Richards dropped the phone, raising his hands at Sue. “Sue, I don’t know what you heard-”

“You told  _ them  _ where the resistance is! How do you know?”

Richards sighed, shaking his head. “It’s… it’s not like that Sue. I’m protecting us.”

Sue shook her head, running to get her bag. She then stormed out of the house, Richards on her feet.

“Sue, I’m protecting you! You can’t leave.”

“Watch me,” Sue muttered, before turning around. Focusing on the building, and ignoring Richards, she raised her hands, before clapping them together. She then separated her hands, forming a force field within the house. The force field expanded, destroying the house as it went. She then released a final burst of energy, blowing up the house.

She walked away with a smile on her face, turning invisible and leaving her past.

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Woah,” Clint said when The Wasp had finished her story.

“Yeah. Like I said, it’s an amazing story.”

“Where is Sue now?”

“Oh, she’s living under the ocean.”

“What?”

“Oh, that’s also a good story. It starts right where we left off…”

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Sue walked away with a smile on her face. It had felt good to destroy Richards’ house, but it couldn’t bring back those he had betrayed. She went invisible, to avoid any unwanted attention.

She lived on the streets for a while, but word of what she had done spread. She was now a hero of the resistance movement; the woman who blew up the house.

(The resistance movement was not very good at coming up with names).

Word spread, and soon she was being confronted by none other than the princess of Atlantis.

She had been at the beach; the beach was a good place to not be seen, even when visible.

A woman had come and sat beside her, staring out at the ocean. “The view is beautiful.”

“The ocean certainly is.”

The woman had laughed, shaking her head. “I was not referring to the ocean. Namora, but my friends call me Nara.”

“Sue,” Sue shook the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Nara.”

Nara smiled at the name, turning to face the ocean. “Word of your deeds has spread even to my people. We wish to offer you sanctuary, if you so desire.”

Sue looked at the side of Nara’s face; she hadn’t survived this long without learning to be suspicious of everything. “What’s the catch?”

Nara turned back, shaking her head. “No catch. You can’t form, or help, a resistance while also being hunted.”

“You want me to run away?”

“As it stands, you are the most public figurehead for the resistance. Naturally, you are being hunted. We merely wish to offer you a way to continue the fight, without being in so much danger.”

“A leader isn’t any good dead.”

“Exactly.” 

Sue stared out at the ocean. “And your people will not mind?”

Nara laughed, shaking her head. “Not at all.”

Sue stood up then, extending a hand out to Nara. “Then show me this underwater sanctuary of yours.”

Nara smiled as she stood, holding onto Sue’s hand. “You will love it.”

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Wait,” Clint sat up, holding up a hand at The Wasp. “Are you telling me that Sue,  _ Sue Storm _ , is currently living under the ocean as some kind of princess?”

The Wasp nodded. “Pretty much, yep. She still helps out where she can, from her underwater science fortress.”

“ _ Underwater science fortress? _ ” Clint thought that his brain might have short circuited.  _ This place is getting even more weird. But that Sue stuff is  _ awesome _._

“Speaking of,” Jane looked up from her device, giving it a shake. “I’ve been talking with Sue. She wants to see Barton apparently.”

Clint looked up from his phone, which he had gotten out when it looked like they were going to ignore him. “She does?”

Jane shrugged a shoulder. “There is no accounting for taste, unfortunately.” She then looked closer at Clint. “What’s that in your hands?”

Clint hit ‘Post’, and put his phone back in his pocket. “Nothing…”

_ I love your Steampunk-ness, Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss, but I don’t like that look you’re giving me right now. _

 

Hawkmemguy:   
this universes reed richards sold out to the establishment and became a science narc because of course he did   
but apparently there was a big thing with sue storm where she blew up his house and went to live under the ocean which is maybe my favorite thing to have ever happened   
i knew i liked sue

  
  



	4. Kate Bishop, the real Hawkeye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we've seen what Clint's been up to.  
> But what about the real Hawkeye?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter stars Kate Bishop, aka ladyhawkmemeguy over on tumblr.  
> Also- the tumblr usernames in this chapter are links to the actual posts. If you're interested.

 

Previously on Earth 1625:

[with special guest narrator, Kate Bishop, aka the Real Hawkeye]

 

_ So I’ve been having a rather excellent day, all things considered. _

_ Which obviously means that Barton’s up to something no good. _

_ And I’ll probably have to go and save him. _

_ But what else is new? _

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Kate had been enjoying a thoroughly enjoyable morning, she would like everyone to know.

The team had tied up their latest mission the night before, and had celebrated with pizza.

This morning had been spent with America at her apartment, a fresh pot of coffee brewed just for the occasion.

These things, along with not having to save the world, had combined to mean an excellent morning.

Of course, Kate was forgetting something. She is a Hawkeye, and Hawkeyes do not have a great track record of luck.

At the very least, it  _ was  _ an excellent morning, until Kate made the mistake of opening Tumblr.

She scrolled through her feed, which she hadn’t been able to check for a while, due to having to save the world. She then came across a post that made her fall silent.

“No.”

“No?”

Kate shook her head, handing her phone over to America. “No.”

America scrolled through the posts, before also shaking her head. “No indeed.”

“How does he get into these things?” Kate mumbled, taking back her phone and dialling a number saved as ‘Emergencies’.

The phone was answered immediately, as usual.

_ “Bishop.” _

“Romanoff.”

_ “So you heard?” _

“How does he keep getting himself into these situations?”

_ “Not entirely his fault this time.” _

“Oh?”

_ “Richards.” _

“Say no more.”

_ “Good chat.” _

Kate hung up her phone, putting it on the table in front of her and picking up her coffee.   
America nodded at the phone.  “I assume that that means you know how he got there.”

Kate rolled her eyes as she answered. “Richards.”

America sighed, shaking her head. “Is that guy ever  _ not  _ messing things up?”

“If so, I am yet to see any evidence of it,” Kate stood up, going to put on (one of her numerous) purple jacket(s) and (purple. What else?) shoes.

“Where are we going?” America asked as she followed Kate. Kate turned to her with a smile.

“Oh, we’re going for a walk.”

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Kate’s walk involved a leisurely stroll up 42nd Street, towards Madison Avenue.

There was a light sprinkling of snow, nothing too dramatic. Though it was enough to make Kate’s sunglasses look out of place.

“Remind me again why you’re wearing sunglasses?” America asked.

Kate patted America’s arm. “Disguise.”

“Why do you need a disguise?” America asked, before her eyes widened and she shook her head. “No.”

“No?”

“Whatever it is you are planning can’t be any good. What  _ are  _ you planning?”

Kate smiled sweetly. “You’ll see.”

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

America looked around the street. “I know this street.”

Kate nodded. “I imagine you know a lot of streets.”

“Kate…”

“America……” Kate echoed.

America shook her head, holding up her free hand.  “Fine. I won’t stop you.”

Kate smiled widely, patting America’s arm. “See, this is why we make such great partners.”

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

_ “In other news, Reed Richards, member of the superhero team known as the Fantastic Four, was punched earlier today.  Richards appears to be unfazed by the encounter. _

_ The perpetrator is unknown at this time. All that is known is that it was a young woman. _ _  
_ _ More information will be shared when it is known. _

_ Now in celebrity news, there is strong evidence that two Avengers are in a relationship! We will reveal which two after the break.” _

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“Young Woman!” Kate laughed at the television. “They don’t even know who I am!”

America joined in Kate’s laughing, picking up Kate’s sunglasses and putting them on before turning to Kate. 

Kate lurched back. “Who are you? Where’s America?”

They both burst into laughter, Kate picking up her phone. When America looked at her questioningly, Kate waved the phone. 

“Gotta let people know. This is  _ awesome _ .”

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Clint was enjoying the tale of Sue the Queen of the Ocean when he received a notification on  his phone. Opening it, he smiled widely.

_ So at least I know my posts are getting through. _

 

[ Ladyhawkmemeguy ](http://ladyhawkmemeguy.tumblr.com/post/153784093103/apparently-some-random-girl-just-punched-reed) :   
apparently some random girl just punched reed richards. Weird.   
in completely unrelated news, sometimes it’s super handy not being a very well-known hero…   


[ Hawkmemeguy ](http://hawkmemeguy.tumblr.com/post/153802402547/ladyhawkmemeguy-apparently-some-random-girl-just) :  
youre my favorite

 

“Barton? You care to join us?”

Clint put away his phone, and turned his attention back to Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss. “Yes?”

“I believe that you would benefit from a journey to visit Sue.”

Clint nodded. “How could that possibly go wrong?”

The looks he got from The Wasp and Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss did not fill him with confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint, Clint, why on earth would you jinx your luck like that?  
> Come on, you gotta know what's gonna happen now.
> 
> I *might* get another chapter out before the new year.  
> If not, I hope everyone has a wonderful time :)


	5. Tin Cans are NOT suitable substitutes for submarines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's find out why a tin can is not a submarine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Click hawkmemeguy to be taken to the relevant tumblr post

Previously on Earth 1625:

_ So Katie defended my honour back home. That’s pretty cool. _

_ Over on bad science world, Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss says I can go visit Sue. _

_ Looks like it’s adventure time. _

 

/////\\\\\\\\\

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

“So how am I getting to this underwater science fortress?”

Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss looked at him with an amused smile. “Does everyone on your earth speak like that?”

“Like what?”

“Adjectives. Adjectives, you use them a lot.”

“I embellish things.” Clint leant back  in his chair, smiling. “It’s like my superpower.”

“Really?” The Wasp asked, looking interested in this development. 

_ Though, in all the time I’ve know her, she’s  _ always  _ looking interested. _

_ You’ve only known her for a couple of hours. _

_ My point still stands.  _

Clint shook his head at the other two, sitting forward in his chair again. “Nah, my superpower is shooting arrows.”

The Wasp and Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss shared a look, before shaking their heads. 

“I think the adjectives superpower is better,” The Wasp said.

Clint shrugged. “It is what it is. So I hate to be repetitive, but how am I getting to this underwater science fortress?”

“Of course, business first,” Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss pulled a device out of her pocket ad pressed a button. A moment later, the door to the room opened again, revealing…

“Darcy!” Clint raised a hand in greeting, while this universe’s Darcy took his appearance in stride.

“Looking good for a dead man.” She turned to Jane. “Yes?”

“Barton here is going to visit Sue. Think you can find a submarine?”

“Is the sky blue?” Darcy asked, before her eyes widened. “ _ Is that a dog? _ ”

“Yes,” Jane reached down to pat Lucky’s ears. “Find us a submarine?”

“Yes ma’am,” Darcy gave Lucky a final forlorn look and left the room.

“So you have a minion Darcy.”

Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss nodded. “What is the Darcy of your earth like?”

Clint considered that for a moment, before shrugging. “Pretty much the same. How long do you-”

Clint was cut off by Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss’s device beeping. 

“She’s found a submarine.”

“Already?”

Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss nodded, standing up. “There is a reason she’s here. Come now Lucky.”

Lucky followed Jane to the door, the Wasp following just behind.

“You too Clint!”

“Oh,  _ now  _ she remembers me,” Clint muttered, but followed Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss to his  his doom   wherever it was minion Darcy had found a submarine.

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Turns out, minion Darcy had a lot of connections in the science underground, and knew just where to find a submarine.

The Wasp was sent off on another reconnaissance mission, but not before giving Clint what was possibly the biggest hug he had ever had. 

It was nice; Clint missed her already.

Which brings Clint to now; now being Clint watching Darcy, Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss, and Darcy’s contact discussing things, while Lucky sat at Jane’s feet. 

No, Clint  _ wasn’t  _ scowling, why would you suggest that? He was merely  _ weary  _ of the looks Darcy and Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss were giving Lucky.

_ Probably want to turn him into a mob dog.  _

After a few minutes, Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss came over to Clint with a smile. 

“The submarine will get you to Sue’s Underwater Science Fortress; you won’t have to do a thing. Just get in, and in six hours, you’ll be there.”

“Awesome.” Clint pointed to Lucky, feeling the need to make this point. “Lucky comes with me.”

Darcy looked ready to protest, but Jane held up a hand. “Very well. Who would I be to deny you the company of your dog?”

“Exactly.” Clint didn’t think much of Jane’s easy acceptance as he gestured to Lucky. “Come on Lucky, to the submarine.”

Lucky waited until Jane had given him a final pat, before trotting over to Clint. Darcy did not stop watching Lucky with a  _ look  _ in her eyes.

“Clint, it was enjoyable to see you again.” Jane paused,frowning at her choice of wording. “Or for the first time, as the case may be.”

“I understand,” Clint shook Jane’s hand, before nodding to Darcy. “Thanks for arranging this.”

Darcy didn’t respond right away, looking at Clint’s….  _ Arms? Is she looking at my arms? _

Jane tapped on Darcy’s shoulder, which seemed to bring her back to the present. “Huh? Oh, right, yeah. Whatever, it’s my job.”

“Thank you,” Clint repeated, before getting into the submarine. 

Darcy’s contact came over to make sure the submarine closed properly, before the tin can began to descend.

_ Only six hours to go. This won’t be a problem.  _

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Clint may live to be a hundred and seventy two, but he will  _ never  _ talk about that six hour submarine ride.

_ Never _ .

 

\\\\\\\\\/////

 

Six hours and twenty one seconds after leaving Jane _ (no, Clint didn’t count every second, why would you think that?) _ , the submarine (and every minute spent in it convinced Clint that it was less of a submarine and more of a sardine can repurposed for the ocean) broke the surface in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

(At least, Clint  _ assumed  _ it was the Pacific; who knew what this earth named their oceans).

As the journey had progressed, the ocean had changed from being a murky grey to a darker blue, until  _ here _ , where it was almost  _ crystal blue, I have  _ not  _ seen water this clear ever. _

And the “submarine” hadn’t surfaced in the middle of the ocean  _ exactly _ ; they were in a domed… it looked like a landing area.  There seemed to be a dozen landing platforms, each separated by about three metres. The tin can bobbed along the surface, passing each landing platform until it reached the final one. The whole place seemed to be illuminated by four lights in the corners, and there was no break in the light. The walls seemed to be made of pebbles. 

The whole place was impressive, whatever it’s purpose was.

_ And there’s  _ no way  _ we’re on the surface.  _

_ Duh Barton,  _ underwater  _ science fortress. You’re under water.  _

As soon as the roof to the tin can opened, Lucky jumped out, Clint a second behind. He collapsed onto the platform they had surfaced beside, closing his eyes and feeling all the bruises he now had.

He opened his eyes when a shape blocked out the light.

“Clint Barton?”

Clint groaned as he sat up, looking up at the….  _ Soldier? They  _ look  _ like a soldier. _

_ Dressed like a soldier, what with the armour and the sword. _

_ Wonder who would attack an underwater science fortress. _

“I am him.”

The Soldier inclined their head, before continuing. “Professor Storm is expecting you. Do you require assistance?”

Clint shook his head, getting up with a groan. Lucky was by his side again, waiting to move.

The Soldier frowned at Clint, looking at Clint’s legs. “Are you  _ meant  _ to have dog hair all over you?”

Clint looked down at his body, which sure enough, was covered in dog hair.

“Aww, dog hair, no,” Clint muttered, looking at Lucky. “You are so much trouble, I should have left you with Jane the Lucky Stealing Mob Boss.”

Lucky gave Clint a look, before trotting over to sit at the Soldier’s feet.

“Traitor,” Clint stuck his tongue out at Lucky, who remained unaffected. Clint looked back at the Soldier and nodded. “Lead on.”

The Soldier nodded, and turned to walk away, Lucky at their feet the entire time.

To distract himself from the bruises and dog hair, Clint pulled out his phone.

_ The reception is  _ better  _ in the underwater science fortress? Who knew? _

 

[ Hawkmemeguy: ](https://hawkmemeguy.tumblr.com/post/153813655732/mobster-jane-has-a-minion-darcy-and-they-found-us#notes)

mobster jane has a minion darcy and they found us a teeny submarine to go visit sue which is great until you imagine spending six hours in a tin can with a nervous dog climbing all over you   
i have bruises and dog hair in places i dont want to talk about   
and if you ask me why i took lucky with me to sues underwater science fortress i will just tell you that i did not at all trust the way mobster jane and minion darcy were eyeing him   
i think they wanted to turn him into a mob dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in end notes:  
> I *might* get another chapter out before the new year.
> 
> ha. ha. ha.  
> Almost seven months later, I am back.   
> I've been writing a lot of memevenger-verse prompts over on my blog, so I figured it was about time to return to my original memevenger fic.
> 
> So.... hi again?   
> If you're just finding this fic for the first time, welcome!  
> I hope it won't be another seven months.
> 
> Until next time :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought :)  
> Or any other things you want to see


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